Are you struggling with what is love or the lack of it in your relationship? This is not uncommon. Love has many faces—the love for a child and family, for a pet, the love of humanity and the environment, and the love of religion to name a few. But love surrounding your partner and relationship is complex. So, what is love?
What is love?
Love is complicated when it comes to intimate relationships. It is a mix of beliefs, behaviours and emotions. Love creates strong feelings of respect, affection and protectiveness as well as physical reactions.
When you are truly engaged with someone in receiving and giving love, you do not think about what love is. It is only when there is something missing from a loving relationship that you take the time to ponder what it is. And when you ask this question about a relationship it can mean you do not feel loved by your partner or are doubting your feelings for someone.
Feeling loved versus being in love
Are you wondering if your partner loves you or are you questioning your love for another? To understand whether you love someone, you need to recognise when someone loves you.
It is usually obvious when someone loves you. You intuitively feel it. There is nothing mysterious about this. There is tangible proof. Your heart reads the signs from your senses and reports this to your brain. Your brain analyses and interprets the information and sends the data to your heart. So, when someone says something loving, touches you lovingly or smiles, your brain processes this and tells you that someone is expressing their love for you. In short, when your partner treats you lovingly, you feel that love in your heart. That is how you know someone loves you.
Love is an action
Now let’s look at how you know when you are in love. This is really simple. Love is an action. It is not a philosophy. When you behave in a loving manner towards someone it means you love them. Love is how you show it in everything you do, think and say towards and about your partner. When you feel love for someone you:
- Prioritise their happiness and wellbeing before your own.
- Feel strongly attracted to them and hold them with high respect.
- Have strong feelings of affection, attachment and need to be close to them.
- Choose to spend your life with them and commit to respecting, supporting, helping and caring for that person.
Sometimes love is a choice but often you may have uncontrollable feelings for another person.
Love and its effect on mental health
While the definition of love is different for everyone, there is agreement it is vital to our psychological and physical wellbeing. Love plays an important role in mental health for example:
- Love reduces stress and anxiety when you feel loved and increases stress and anxiety when love ends. Download my anxiety audio program to help you reconnect with loved ones when you feel anxious.
- Love makes you happy and increases confidence and self-esteem but sad, depressed and reduces your confidence when you break up.
- Love promotes self-care but you can let yourself go when you feel unloved or break up with your partner.
Tips to reignite love in your relationship
Do you feel love is lacking from your relationship? Are you and your partner still working to keep your love alive? Are you fighting a lot and feel as if you are no longer on the same page?
There are many reasons why you may feel this way. Life changes, a job loss, punishing each other for making mistakes, moving to a new house or you have recently had a baby. These can all take a toll on relationships. Whatever the reason you feel your relationship is dying, there are things you can do to reignite the love in your relationship.
1. Try something new together
Trying something new together can help boost the love and happiness in your relationship. A few studies found that couples who try new things were happier in their relationships.
Have you thought about increasing your physical fitness? Maybe consider taking a fitness class or jogging together. Getting fit is good for your physical and mental health. It relieves stress, anxiety and depression.
Exercising may not be your thing but there are many things you can share with your other half including:
- a picnic at the beach to watch the sun set
- visiting new places
- going for a walk in nature
- volunteering for a good cause
- learning photography
2. Communication is key
Learn to communicate better with each other. It can be tough telling your partner some things such as when you have made a mistake or have news you know they will not like. Communication is key to a good relationship. It can make or break it.
Ineffective communication can cause anger, resentment and frustration. Good communication is vital for keeping the love alive with your partner. Develop the art of listening. Cultivate appreciation and respect for what your partner has to say even if your do not like what you hear. Here are a few things to try:
- Choose a time your partner is not preoccupied with other things and you have a few private moments together.
- Remove distractions. Turn off the television and put your phone on silent so there are no interruptions while you talk.
- Have a family meal without phones so you can enjoy talking with each other without any distractions.
3. Touch each other
When you hug, snuggle together and hold hands, the hormone oxytocin, known as the love hormone, releases. It makes you both feel better and reduces anxiety. It helps to promote trust and happiness in your relationship.
4. Honesty is the best policy
Love can hurt sometimes as does the truth. But honesty is truly the best policy as it builds trust and respect. It is important to talk about the issues within your relationships. Being honest even when it is difficult shows vulnerability to your partner and deepens your emotional connection.
5. Show appreciation for each other
Does your partner do a lot for you and your family? Maybe they are the only financial source for the family, cooks beautiful meals or makes sure you have everything you want or need. Show appreciation for everything they do. There is nothing more deflating than a partner who takes the other for granted. Next time your partner does something show your appreciation by:
- offering to help
- organising a night out
- saying thank you
- complimenting them
- doing something thoughtful.
6. Laugh together
Embrace humour and laugh together. Avoid taking life too seriously. Laughing is a great way to diffuse potential arguments and awkward situations. Humour can strengthen your bond and help you feel more supported in your relationship.
7. Look after yourself
Look after yourself to help spice up your relationship. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Your partner will appreciate your commitment to a healthy mind and body, and it will make you happier and confident in yourself which makes you attractive. Things you can do include:
- eat a healthy diet
- physical exercise
- get dressed up
- take care of your hair and teeth
- put an effort into all areas of your life.
8. Organise regular date nights together
Organise regular date nights out together to reconnect after a busy day or week. Spending quality time together deepens your bond and ignites a fire in you both. It helps your communication, you can laugh together, share romantic moments which reduces stress and anxiety.
9. Enjoy time out alone
Enjoy time out alone. It is good to take time out from each other to do things you enjoy. Doing things separately gives you confidence in yourself and helps to keep the relationship fresh. This gives you something new to talk about and share at the end of the day.
After all, you are not glued together and spending time apart allows you to focus on activities your partner has no interest in. It also gives them the opportunity to spend time doing things without you. It is healthy and builds greater strength and trust in your relationship.
10. Invest in emotional intimacy
Invest in emotional intimacy with your partner. It builds trust and respect in each other. Share your deepest secrets, desires and feelings. This can be one of the most important parts of a relationship knowing you each have each other’s backs and are there with a shoulder to cry one when needed. When you have this level of trust and love in your relationship, it is priceless. To improve emotional intimacy:
- Talk to your partner. Let them know how you feel, talk about life in general and let them know how what is happening in the world affects you.
- Also, make sure you listen to your partner. Give them the same opportunity they give you to express their feelings.
We are here to help
Rekindling your relationship can be tough especially if you are struggling with stress, anxiety or depression. If you are struggling, consider reaching out to us. When you are not coping, contact us to find out how we can help get your life back on track. But, if you reach crisis point, call us immediately. We are here to support you through a crisis and can help you quickly deal with things better.
We can work with you in our Spas, over the phone or via Skype. Book in today for my Emotional Empowerment Program. I have an introductory offer for just $79 so you can start taking back control of your life. We can support and help you cope with the anxiety and depression that are the result of relationship troubles. With our help, you can rebuild your life and look forward to a future filled with happiness and joy in weeks.
Let me help stop the effects of mental health issues
My Emotional Empowerment Program has helped thousands of people like you deal with stress, anxiety and depression. With my help you can reignite the love in your relationship. We can help you move through and deal with stress, depression and anxiety which can be the root cause. I can help you replace these with happiness, peace and contentment in weeks not years so you can reignite the love in your relationship. Listen to what Ngaria has to say about my program after only a few sessions.